I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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