Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Houston, we have a blender
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
