I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
