Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
