The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
