her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
