Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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