ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
