Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
