Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
