so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
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it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
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I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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