I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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