i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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