There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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