I think I am morally bankrupt
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
