the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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