Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
