I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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