So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
