If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?