i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag