Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
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Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.