They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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