the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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