1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize