I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
