Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
