I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
