I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
