Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This baby is an asshole
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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