But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
True college students do jello shots in the library
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
