Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
