how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
