You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You are the jesus of drinking
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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