Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
