Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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