So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
