i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think my fart just growled at me.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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