Say something about gay babies.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
