No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My vagina is officially offended.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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