Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
either way he was missing a nipple.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
