you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
