i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
