I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
