Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
