It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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