By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
