I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
