I cockslap morals
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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