I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
