so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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