Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
