my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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