just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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