You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
