He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
