my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I am naked and annoyed.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
