This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize