You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I love you. Go after that dick
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
