He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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